Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
