I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Randomize
