Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
