Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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