At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
