That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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