you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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