We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
