Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Sober January is a disaster.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
