i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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