There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
