glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
