I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
