I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
