New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
