? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
