its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
