There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
