Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
