I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
