I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
