why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
