After last night, I could never be a politician.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Randomize
