Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
