I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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