Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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