There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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