are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
