I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
