Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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