Christians are straight up FREAKS
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
