there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
