He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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