I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
