how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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