I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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