this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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