you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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