wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
