not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
