So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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