I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
