Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
