I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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