We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
