just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
