So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
