Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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