My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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