No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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