shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i wish my penis had a tongue
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
